Babies, don't take them for granted!

I have written and rewritten this particular blog numerous times so I figure I would just get to the point. I recently offered my girlfriend my eggs. Not your run of the mill chicken eggs, no my reproductive eggs. So some of you might be thinking what the? One of my very close girlfriend has been trying to have a baby by IVF for 3 years now with no success. She was 40 when she started her first round of IVF and unfortunately it has never taken. There is nothing physically wrong with her or her partner, her body produces eggs normally and her partner is a perfectly healthy strapping man. But the only thing that they can conclude is that there age means that their eggs and sperm isn’t as strong as they would like it to be. This has not only been heartbreaking to watch but makes you really think about your own life and puts things in perspective.



I am lucky to have 3 amazing nieces and 1 spunky young nephew who I love unconditionally and would do anything for. Now all 4 of these little angels (their parents may say different) coming into this world hasn’t been easy on either them or my sisters. I have lost a niece, I have had to sit with the fact that they thought my sister had a brain tumour in her second pregnancy and had to watch my other sister be so violently ill though her pregnancy and birth that it makes me wonder why I even want kids. But the simple answer to that is the enjoyment that these little ones give not just their parents but my whole family. I love that my nephew thinks my name is Roxy as he has managed to confuse my name with my dog. I love that when they have all learnt my name and say it repeatedly, I love that all my nieces have a crush my fiancé as they always run to him before me. And most of all I love how during really difficult times in my family’s life they make you realise how important family is. When my grandfather died it was unexpected and sudden but 4 months later the beautiful Ava Mackenzie came into the world and was able to take away some of the pain we all felt. I see my sisters with my nieces and nephew and see the joy they give them and the sacrifices they make for them. I’ve seen Kate sit in front of a dryer with Jack watching clothes spin around as that was the only way she could calm Jack down. I have seen Jacqui dances around to wiggles to make her girls smile when their having a moment.



These are the things that make me want to be a parent and I except I could face the problems my sisters face during their pregnancies but I’m willing to do this for a baby of my own. So to sit and watch my closes friends go through this I realise that this is something I can help with. So it doesn’t seen bazaar to me to off someone my eggs as if this means that my girlfriend has a chance at having a child then why not. Now I asked a few people what there thoughts were on this. A few people had said that they would find it hard as to do it for various reasons and these were a few I got. Firstly what if I gave up some of my eggs and my friend has a perfectly healthy child and it came time for me to conceive and I couldn't or I had a child with a deformity. Well that can happen regardless if I have given some of my eggs away or not.

Secondly wouldn't I feel like the baby was mine? Now I don't know if anyone has seen the size of an egg but it's the size of a pin prick I shed hair and eyelashes that are bigger. Yes these don't resolve in a child but it's a very small part of me.

My thoughts on this is once I have given the eggs to my friend and they no longer belong to me. They are hers and her partners and it will grow inside of her, she will nourish it and keep it safe and deliver it when the time comes. This is 10 months worth of work, (The 9 month thing is rubbish 40 weeks equals 10 months) I only participate for a 1/4 of a percent of that and what better gift could I give but the gift of life to them.


Now after some research into me donating my eggs we located a few dramas. Firstly I would have to register that I was a Donor and when the child was 18 years old the child could register on line and find out that I was what they would call the biological mother. So keeping this a secret was out of the question as my friend would have to tell the child. Strange you can adopt a child and never tell them but using donor eggs and sperm mean't you have too! This is something we all didn't feel comfortable about, as the child may never find out that I played a part in their existence but they could and it was a risk that we weren't happy with. Can you imagine if this child found out on their 18th birthday "Oh you are our child but you know your Aunt Dannii it was her eggs that helped us conceive you". Apart of what the physiological damage could be to them I would be in this child's life and it would feel betrayed my not just their parents but by me as well. My strong thoughts are that these laws need to change as parents who go through IVF have the option to donate their eggs for the reproductively challenged. They are doing something for people who have been in the same boat as themselves and can understand it from a point of view a lot of us may not be able to.


So I guess for me to sign off on this blog is Yes I would definitely give my eggs to my girlfriend if were able to do it in a way that we were both comfortable. Cause at the end of the day any of us could be in that situation one day and I would hope that I would have a friend put that offer on the table as a choice I could have. Being a parent is the most selfless thing you can do in your life and I think we should all have the option no matter our age or race.So for all the mothers and fathers out there whenever your child is being a pain and your ready to sell them on ebay, remember there are people out there who aren't as fortunate as you are.